Ebb and Flow

     After writing a post for this blog, I usually feel very high, exhilarated, and have a sense of well being.  But the "elevator effect" is still in effect at times and I tend to get melancholy again soon after. It is difficult to be motivated to write at these times.  I resist sharing the self-defeating messages that roam around my head. Even when I have thoughts of subject matter for a post, I don't sit down to write. Well, be that as it may, if my memory serves me well, I can recall the ideas later. If not, so be it. The last thing I want to do is beat myself up because I feel a little low. I truly believe these are the times when insights can be had.


     As I have learned, putting my feelings (especially when they threaten to overwhelm) in a broad perspective, seeing them at a distance or as they reflect natural and recurring events, helps me cope with the sadness and frustration: the ebb and flow of the tides; the death of some plants in the winter only to see them return in the spring; the tiny green shoots pushing though thick layers of ash (death) to go to the light and life to name a few. I ponder these and reflect on my gloom and am encouraged that these feelings are part of a natural process that I will come through.


     I don't feel so alone. I feel more patient with myself. 


     I feel hope.